Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i think im in europe. pls send help
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
