We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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