the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
