your parents love me but you hate me
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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