Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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