you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I did not marry a roomba.
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