I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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