I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
