Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
