and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
