Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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