am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
