I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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