So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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