If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Everclear isn't food dammit
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
