i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
