Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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