What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
