If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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