If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
