Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
