sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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