Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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