I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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