shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize