Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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