he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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