Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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