Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
