2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I look better un-naked...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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