I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The air was thick with penises
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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