you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize