Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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