READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
