Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
COCAINE IS GR8
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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