community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
