it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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