I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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