Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
