Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
