She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize