Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
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So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
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You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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