I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
