just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You took a bar mat shot.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
