I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
