apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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