Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
His nipple licking is glorious
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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