I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
