if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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