I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
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Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.