Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
