I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
