Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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