don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
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