if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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