Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm really busy with my period
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