he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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